If I ever get some kind of infection or break a bone, I’ll head straight for the best Western hospital in Kunming. But when my back pain (I'm blessed with
a few herniated discs) flared up recently, I went to see a traditional Chinese doctor. As far as I know, Western medicine treats herniated discs with physical therapy (not ava
ilable here), painkillers (have some, avoid taking them) and surgery (hope to never need it).
I went to the doctor with my friend Jenny, who’s here studying Chinese medicine. We went to the Yunnan School of Traditional Chinese Medicine. The small building surrounds a courtyard that has a strong smell of medicinal herbs. We paid 7 yuan to a receptionist and she sent us to Station 6 to see a doctor. The first thing that struck me was that no one considers your time with the doctor a private matter. We sat down together to see him, and the patients waiting behind us sat on a seat in the same room, or stood in the doorway (there was no actual door).
You Want Moss With That?
The doctor looked at my tongue and took my pulse in both wrists. They are supposed to know how to determine all sorts of things from feeling your pulse—whether you are sick, pregnant, etc. But disappointingly, he asked me what was wrong. Maybe he was worried I wouldn’t be able to understand what he said. Anyway, I told him my back hurt. He pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote the names of about a dozen different herbs on it. I took my list to the pharmacy, where a woman in a lab coat retrieved my moss, licorice, jujubes, and whatever else. I then took that to a little lab where they cook it all into a drinkable concoction (pick it up in two hours—not too bad for a place where they actually have to MAKE your medicine. I’ve waited longer for someone to count out 30 pills for me at Duane Reade). They give it back to you in perfectly sealed bags; each dose is about one cup and a half. It tastes bitter, but it’s drinkable.
Knead it Out
After dropping off our herbs to be cooked, we went up to the Tui Na/Acupuncture room for some more immediate relief. The room smells of the herbs cooking downstairs, and again, you can forget about privacy. Everyone gets their treatments in one room, without even a curtain to separate you from the person next to you.
There seem to be two kinds of massage here: tui na and an mo. An mo is what I’ve been getting at the blind person massage joints, and it’s not bad. Tui na is medical massage. It's harder than an mo, and uses a lot more elbows and kneading. It seems to have a fair amount in common with Swedish massages I’ve had in the past, and is much more satisfying than an mo. It's also specific to your ailment; my friend’s massage was not the same as mine.
“How Many Needles Are You Using?”
After the massage, Jenny asked for some acupuncture. I watched the acupuncturist put the needles in, and watched her lie there with them sticking out of her body. I really wanted to try, out of both curiosity and the desire to feel better. I asked her if it hurt, and she said, “Not at all.”
“Fine,” I said. “Let me try.” I lay down on my stomach, and he put the first needle in my back. It hurt—not so much when it pierced the skin, but once it was in. I grimaced, and he put in another. It hurt again. “Ni yao yong ji zhen?" (“How many needles are you going to use?”) I asked through gritted teeth. He told me five. Fine. I could take that. Four went in my back, and one in my foot. I could hardly feel the one in my foot, but the ones in my back really hurt.
“Oops,” said Jenny. “I forgot yours would be going in a painful place.” I’m actually glad she didn’t tell me, because I might not have tried otherwise. The pain was the same as what I’d felt the past few days whenever I tried to tie my shoes or get up after sitting down for a long time, so it wasn’t exactly anything new. It just wasn’t something I expected to feel while lying down. It hurt more if I took a deep breath or tried to talk loudly. After about five minutes, the acupuncturist tweaked my needles a little, which hurt some more. After another five minutes, he took them all out. I think I asked three times if they really were out, because I still felt like they were inside.
Immediately after, I felt a little sore, but as we walked across town I started to feel better. The relief, which was definitely worth the pain and the 60 yuan I paid (for the tui na and acupuncture together), lasted two days. I have been back twice in the last week. The second time he put a needle in my neck, which was a little scary. The whole thing basically amounts to an hour of torture, but it is definitely helping with my pain. So there you have it—I am officially hooked on having a guy throw needles in my back.