Maggie in the Middle Kingdom

Where Have I Been?

Sorry about being quiet for so long. I started class two weeks ago and have been busy with some other things as well. I'm going to a school called Kunming Eastern College of Language and Culture, known around town as Dong Feng, (translation: Eastern). Aside from Keats, there are three main options for Mandarin study. Yunnan University's language program has a reputation for larger classes, outmoded teaching styles and bureaucratic rigidity. Summit Language School is run by some Brits, and seems like a good enough place, but it's a little expensive and they don't have the necessary connection to obtain student visas.

Dong Feng, however, does have the guanxi to get us student visas, which are necessary for anyone who wants to stay longer than three months. It offers a 20-week semester for 5,000 RMB (about $625 U.S.), for 10-15 hours of class time per week. There are a couple hundred students there, so it's a good place to meet people. It's also located a 15-minute walk from my home, near the restaurant/bar/cafes of Wenlin Jie and Wenhua Xiang.

My class has 10 to 12 people; it's hard to say because there is still some expanding and contracting as people decide which class they belong in. I personally tried three classes on the first day before settling on the third level. Countries represented include France, Italy, Korea, Japan, Thailand, Germany and Spain. There is one other American, a grizzled native Brooklyner who knows his characters extremely well but is reviewing grammar and working on speaking.

My teacher, Chen Laoshi, speaks pretty good English, but he rarely uses it in class. This has been very good for me, as my first teacher spoke a lot of English in our lessons, and my listening comprehension has suffered as a result. Compared to the other students, my reading is good, but in pronunciation and listening I am probably worse than half the other students. But most have also had at least a few more months of Chinese than I have had.

It's interesting to hear Chinese spoken in all these different accents. My favorite classmate to listen to and watch is an Italian man in his early 50s. He brings the Italian habit of speaking with his hands to his efforts to speak Mandarin, signaling the appropriate tone of a word with a wave of his hand or a nod of his head.

How Do You Say Body Odor in Chinese?

Huchou, or "fox stench."  That's just how you say it.  狐臭 is the Hanzi. So if you go into a tattoo parlor asking for the characters for the Chinese equivalent to "stud muffin," and he shows you this, find a different tattoo parlor.

I have heard it said, but have not confirmed, that the Chinese think B.O. is an ailment and not, as we see it, a healthy human condition to be stifled for the good of people who share our space. Hence, the word for "human stench" is actually "fox stench."

This funny word brings us to an interesting topic for foreigners living in China: deodorant. Not much is sold, and it almost never contains anti-perspirant.  I was stinky for a couple weeks, and then stumbled on anti-perspirant in an Avon store (China has actual Avon stores, since door-to-door sales are illegal here). Many expats still think they can't find anti-perspirant; I'm trying to spread the word that this is not true.

Keats School: Was it Worth It?

I left Keats about two weeks ago, as planned. Since then, I’ve been studying with my teacher one-one-one for two hours, two days a week.  Soon, I will enroll at a school that can also help me get a student visa. Keats School charges a bit of a premium compared with other schools here in Kunming, which I knew when I enrolled. So was it worth it? First, let me break down the difference in cost. Keats charges $950 US per month for a comfortable little dorm room with private bathroom. Tuition is included in the cost: four hours of instruction, five days a week. Now, about the alternatives: If you manage to set yourself up with an apartment (a comfortable one can be found for $100 USD or less, depending on how demanding you are about location, etc.) and hire a private tutor, you can study twice as long for the same price. And if you cut your class hours down or enroll for small-group classes at one of the schools in town, you can stretch your dollar even further. What I got for my money, though, shouldn’t be underestimated: +  I had peace of mind, knowing I’d be picked up at the airport. +  I had help setting up a bank account and buying a cell phone. +  If I’d been sick, they would have taken me to a pharmacy or doctor. + I made friends with other foreign students. + My commute to school meant putting on slippers and walking upstairs. + I had in-room internet. + We enjoyed several group activities—karaoke, group dinners, a daytrip. + My teacher speaks Putonghua, as do most (maybe all?) Keats teachers. + Excellent service—I knew a student who didn’t like her teacher and was given a new one immediately, and credited for the wasted class. + I had access to the school’s phone for some local calls. + I lived in a very safe environment. What I did not get: + My teacher is very nice and very smart and adept with language (her English is also quite good), but she is relatively inexperienced. I would call her a good teacher, but not a guru. + Keats’ location is convenient, but it lacks the charm of my current neighborhood. + The textbooks’ content seems good, but they keep falling apart at the binding and pages come out. This is a bummer, as I could study/reference these books for a long time if they held together. So, summing it all up, I still think Keats was the right choice for me. As a first-time visitor to China, I needed the security and service they offered. And I don’t know where I would have lived for the first few weeks—probably some cheap, yucky hotel. Unless you have a good friend here or a good amount of China savvy, I do think that Keats is a good place to start.